Shocking Truth ?

Well, today my mother told me some very shocking news. She spent and hour and a half last night talking to Effies sister Ruth on the phone. Lets just say it was a conversation that held a lot of meaning and surprises that came to life. I She revealed some very shocking things, concerns concerning Effies daughter Linda. Please bare with me as i explain, for its really hard to think about.
I never really knew linda, she lived in the city and was hardly ever around, that i can remember anyways. She is the oldest of effies four children that are still alive, two had already passed on. So therefore, when effie got sick, in the hospital and everything, Linda took charge. Charge of everything, which we thought was natural. She told us that the boys, the other three siblings, didnt really want to step up, didnt wanna face the truth, which we could see, so we thought. Well, from day one of effies hospital stay linda always just really blew everyone off, saying shes about the same really everytime anyone would ask how effie was. But we just thought she was telling the truth....
well, as mom was telling me the conversation last night, that was probably not the truth at all, rather something linda said just to get everyone to back off and leave her alone, to deal with her mother on her own.
According to ruth, which is effies loving sister who mom trusts with her whole heart Linda may have been the cause to effies death....
I nearly fainted hearing this... what?? how in the world could this daughter that was effies pride and joy be the cause of her death!? well, mom went on the explain.
Linda had told everyone that she had retired from a bank where she worked for over twenty years, which ruth now tells mom that she was fired not quit. PLus, she has a gambling problem, which explains. Effie was clearly ashamed because she had never told mom. So long story short, ruth believes when effie had the heart surgery and was doing good in the hospital, that linda moved her to the rehab place, ON HER OWN and thats when she turned for the worst. Doctors did not advise her to be moved. Linda did it, why!!?? who knows.... effie had two life insurance policies. Effie was getting better in the hospital and as soon as she was put in the other place her body started shutting down. She was giving up, is what linda told us. NO!!!!! Linda gave up on her!!!! Maybe she wanted the money,? why else would you move her!!!! it blows my mind. I cant imagine letting my mother die so i could have her money!!!! And, all the money effie left behind, linda kept, not sharing any with her brothers. i cant believe it.... effie might still be here today if linda had not moved her. You could tell seeing her in that place that she was unhappy, the look of defeat! now i can understand why! Her heart had healed phyisically but her daughter broke it afterwards..... effie may still be with us if her daughter hadnt been selfish, put on a big front! it breaks my heart. i know shes in a better place, and it was her time or god wouldnt have taken her, but still... why would her own daughter do it??? how can she do it?? now, she wont even talk to her aunt, Ruth, and hasnt gave anyone in her family a dime.... how sad.....

i must go for now had to vent a little.... just dont understand what some people will do.

Thanks and blessings....

well, not much to say today, but just wanted to say thanks... to God, family and friends. My friend recently had a baby at 28 weeks and it just got me thanking god for two easy, healthy pregnancies and kids. I know this is truly a blessing, esp in todays society. I feel so previledged to have had that. I try my best to live a godly life, which is not easy and at times i fail, but he is forever there and good in my life. No matter what happens, good or bad i know it goes through gods hands first, which makes me smile cause i know he will not give us more than we can handle. This new job is a blessing, yet a challenge too for none of my co workers are christians and live lives that are not very godly. Which in turns make me thank god repeatedly for all he has given me. Without him we are nothing.
Family and friends make life worth while. I will always be grateful for those who listen, inspire and just take time out for me and my family. God knows what each of us needs and brings the right person in at the right time. Were no where near perfect dont get me wrong, but i enjoy life with god right on my side, leading and changing us each and everyday.
Well, have to head to bed, we sleep while they sleep... which isnt much these days working really threw off my sleep patterns... anyways, i hope to blog more regularly if i ever find the time... until next time!!! GOD BLESS

Busy Busy

ok, so i havent blogged in a while so i thought i would catch everyone up! lol Since my last post life has been super busy. I got a job, which i desperately needed and i like it. Its at EZ GO on the turnpike at stroud. I like it because its money, who doesnt, and pay is better then any other job i have had, it stays busy all the time, a constant thing to do so i dont get bored! I am a little sore, i mopped the entire store last night and im super sore... i havent worked that hard since before ZAch, three years!!!! i am soo out of shape, two babies and a galbladder removal will do that to a person! But im crossing my fingers and hoping that i can loose weight with this job too so thats a plus! But i really enjoy working, sitting at home in the house all day was driving me crazy. i love spending time with my kids, but i needed a job to keep my sanity. lol. but im only working part time so i really enjoy it cause it also gives me days home with the boys. But financially we needed a second income, in todays society its hard supporting four on one income. anywho, i like it so i hope it goes well, once my muscles get use to the work.... lol
well, logan is seven and a half months old!! Crazyness!!! he is growing up so fast! He has four teeth, refuses to lay on his stomach to learn to crawl, but immediatlely rolls over. funny he thinks. hes very smiley, loves to laugh and is a great baby. I am extremely blessed to have two good babies. Logan is alot like me and my dad i believe where zach is brians twin, help us all. lol. Logan is very laid back and happy go lucky, where zach is to but he has to be on the go constantly, working or helping and getting into everything!! Zach is independent, a helper always even if its not much a help, a hard worker he wil be and i love that about him. I cant wait till logan gets that age to see what his traits will be! =)
Zach is two and a half, three in january and still refuses to go to the big boy potty!! He still sits on it forever just to sit then pees in the floor so i think it will be a long process, oh did i mention he is just as stubborn as his daddy too!! omg hard headed through and through, like father like son.... lol
anyways,
mom.... well shes doing ok. After Effies funeral things have been different. She said to me once "who will i run around with, go shopping with? call just to chat?
" shes taking it hard, for she was her best friend for thirty years, but she has been so strong. She remembers her for the friend she was and all the precious memories we have had. She gets down every once in a while but who wouldnt? I cant imagine loosing a friend of that many years would be easy, but she feels truly blessed for the time she had with Effie. We all do. That little white house on the corner of eleventh street will never be the same, without the big happy heart of that very special lady we all came to love.
well, before i start a tear party, i better change the subject...
My adopted sister Kelsey had her baby this past month, a perfect little girl weighing a little 5 pounds, my kids head weighed more than that! But it was such a beautiful thing. Maybe not under the best circumstances she was created but she is so dearly loved and brought two people together in a way i am thankful for. I think they wil be a happy little family, regardless of what the world thinks of them. For they are one, and happy and no one can hinder that. Zayli is her name and she is a true blessing of how God can get someones attention, which has certainly happened in this case. Kelsey and De has been given this daughter to love and protect and watching them with her i know they certainly do and will for the rest of their laugh. For once, i remeber kels has a little girl, not a care in the world, now all grown up having a baby of her own, how god can change us all. Kels is grown into a beautiful young lady, a mother. God is Good

lets see.... i guess i cant think of anything else. Brian still works at Kimray and loves it.... gets to start working overtime again, which is great... i love my new job, and my kids are growing up way tooo fast!!! If this rain ever dries up, it will be nothing but sunshine and laughs around this house!!!

Saying Goodbye is never easy

This past week a dear friend of our family passed away. Mrs. Effie Beaird. She was like a gradma to me, and a best friend to my mom for 33 years. So needless to say, it was a tough week.
Monday was the day we got the news. We had been up there to see effie at the hospital the following friday and just had a gut feeling that she was ready to go to heaven. Mom and dad then spent most of the day saturday and sunday. We all were not ready to say goodbye. For she had been sick for several months and i guess just was ready to go home. She had valve surgery and her heart healed fine, but her other organs decided to shut down. We were all with her the day of her heart surgery, got to hug her, say i love you so we were thankful for that. For during her last two months, she could not talk cause she had to be on the breathing tubes. At first she could smile and respond, but the last couple days couldnt even do that. It was too sad for me to watch. The first time i went ot see her at the rehab place, she was so swollen she couldnt hardly fit in the bed. I was so shocked. I only stayed in there a minute and went out crying. I couldnt stand looking at her, the once strong solid women i had knew all my life, now lay helpless, swollen so large that it just broke my heart. The next time we went to see her in the hospital, where her daughter took her back to, the friday before she died i did the same thing. I couldnt make myself stay in there and look at her dying, it was just too much. Looking back i wish i could have been stronger to share those last days with her, but my heart just couldnt do it.
The monday she died, everytime moms phone ring we were just waiting. Waiting for the call to come that she had passed. Passed on the be with jesus. Thats the only reason we all made it through the last couple weeks. Knowing she was a very strong christian and she would be going to see her King. Like a wise friend of mine told me, its not goodbye, its see you later... For we will meet her again in the sky.
The funeral service was saturday. It was tough. But yet it was a great service. LIke the preacher said our flesh will be sad and missing her, yet our spirit rejoices cause we know shes in a better place. I can picture her clear as day, singing and rejoicing with our lord.
We will miss her smile, her words of encouragement and her presence. My mom said yesterday, Who am i to ride around with now. But yet, we know we will move on, and remember her for the wonderful lady she was. Our grandma. Our friend.

Camping...

This weekend, Brian and I took our boys to his parents and sit off to the lake. Chandler lake, but still its a lake! Well, those of you who know me know I am not a very good camper. lol. I like clean, no bugs or dirt, love my electricity. My husband however loves it and could live outdoors. He loves fishing, and i like it only if we acually catch something. And have we caught anything, no!!! lol Anyways, i dont mind it if its not burning hot and the bugs arent attacking you. Well, this weekend, we are with michaels family since michael and bec got a new boat. It is pretty cool! I liked relaxing in the sun and feel the water splashing on my face.
Now were sitting around talking while the boys fish, again. Thats all they wanna do! my my. Anyways, and get this, i can not sleep on the ground, so therefor we always bring our blow up matress!! goes right in tent and tada!! Its like a bed. I unfortunatly inherited my mothers bad back so i can not and will not come if i have to sleep on the hard cold ground. lol.
Sadly, the sun also gives me headaches so i cant be out in it very long, but this time of year its cooler so im enjoying it. got my visor, sunblock so hopefully i wont come home a lobster... those of you who are white know exactly what i am talking about. lol.
anyways, i try to camp some times a summer to be supportive of my hubby. its not too bad, would be more exciting if the fish would bite, the bugs wouldnt and my allergies would disapear,but all in all we have had a good time. Tonight will be the test, sleeping all night, thats why there is tylenol pm!!!

Potty Training, Day 1- A Nightmare Starts

I think im going to pull my hair out before this is done. I thought life was stressful before this! was i wrong. This morning at aproximately 9 i decided it was time to put zach in big boy underwear and start potty training. An hour and a half later, after sitting on potty four or five times, then giving him one cup of juice, he pees, not in his potty, but in his underwear right after getting up! ugh! well, went back to potty just to sit there fifteen minutes to not go. Well, changed undies and what happens, we eat lunch, one cup and i was gonna wait about ten minutes. Hadnt no more put him down and he pees, in his clean undies, all over the floor. I hurry him to bath room just to repeat the process!!! four underwears, three messes, and no pee in potty later, mom was ready to scream!!!! i know it cant happen over night but come on!! i then decided it was nap time, with diaper on!
Well, need less to say, im a little discouraged. I wish i could snap my fingers and make it happen! He is two and a half and i know its time to do this so i know i just gotta be patience. I have never had patience!! its the hardest thing i have come across yet being a mom, and im sure i can manage this hurdle. Once i figure out how. I tried the candy thing if he went in potty, and he never went in potty so that didnt work. he would wait till after he got off potty to go! so please, i would love some advice, encouragement and prayers that this is an easy transition.
I know it can be done, but its gonna take time. Zach is smart, but i dont know how he will learn to pee in potty before his new bid boy undies wind up soaked!! So i think ill put pull ups on, then try undies again in the morning. Lets cross our fingers and hope it comes along, before we go through more than a doaen pairs of undies a day!!!! lol thanks!!!

GOD IS SO GOOD

GOD IS SO GOOD!! Today, one of my dear friends, which i have know since i was eight, had a baby. What joy a baby can bring to so many lives. Friends, family and even strangers. It changes everyone around. Whether it be small or large people are affected by the birth of a baby. Mom and dad of course welcome their new little bundle of joy in this world, but today got me thinking deeper. How many people love one small child so openly, purely is an act of God. One small miracle bringing people closer together and uniting them. God works in mighty ways.

When i was eight, my family met what now i call my second family. The Howards. Back then, life was about playing games, having fun, dressing up, and just being young girls. Now, were all growing up, moving on, getting married, and having babies. Life changes like a whirlwind around you, pulling you around good and bad corners all along the way. Anyways, this family has been through so much and has been a blessing to me from the day i met them. Friends to the end, i sure hope so. Church was where we met, and god formed friendships that are lasting, I believe. We have all had our ups and downs but when you get right down to it, love. Love binds people. Friends and family. Forever.
The middle daughter, had the baby last night. Man did it bring out the good in everyone! Brought everyone close together and forever tying a happy couple. God has brought her through tough times, heart ache and pain, to laughter and tears. As i watched her with her son i was just in awe. Knowing the feeling myself and enjoying watching her experience the feeling of becoming a mom. Her face going from just pure love, to worry, to joy in a matter of seconds. Seeing the love she has immediately for her son and how it has changed her is just breath taking. I brings me to tears just thinking about it. A mothers love can never be bought or stolen. Just unique for her children. Unconditional, my favorite word to describe it. Watching her and her husband today, i mus thave thanked god a hundred times for blessing this new family and bringing us all closer. Zaiden, how truly blessed you are. A family who loves you and a mother who already has shown how much she will always do for you, her son. I am so proud of her, she is going to be a great mom.

Life comes at you no matter what. Love. Friendship, always be blessed. I certainly am. I thank my god everyday for the friendships that he has given me. Friendships that will last. Everyone loves babies, thats for sure. Today has been a blessed day for me. Joy and hope for the future, reimininsing(Iknow not spelled right but oh well) about the old days and just being free. Free and happy.

Today, visiting with the new baby and family really brought out the best in that family. Renewing ties and bringing everyone together. Love, strength and happiness all at once. In the midst, sadness being a close family member is sick, but yet hope. God brought a tiny little miracle to share with everyone. God is love, shown through a little babies touch, the mothers loving gaze, and a proud daddy beaming at his son. What a blessed day.

MOMS!!

So, my mom has been gone a week now and I miss her like crazy!!! She went on a well deserved vacation, being her and my dad havent gone on one alone since they had children! She deserved to get out and live a little!! Im sure shes missing her boys though but she needed a break! But that said, I miss her!!

You never know how much your mom does till shes gone! Even if its only a little while! She cooks, cleans and listens to our every whim!! whether it be pleasant or not. Plus, this week i was sick and having her gone was awful! I dont care how old i get, i still like my mom around when i dont feel good! She may not be able to help but it feels better with her presence around! I miss her cooking! My my shes a good cook! no offense to my mac and cheese and hamburger helpers, i cant put things together homemade like mom can! One trait i hope to learn sooN!! well, i just thought i would talk a little!!!

my son took a drowning experience to heart last saturday, decided he wanted to swim. by himself. thank god brian was outside. zach got an extra ladder into brains parents pool and somehow climb in and jumped. thank god brian grabbed him before he stayed under too long!. good thing zach knew to hold his breathe! Brians dad would not have been able to save him, so Gods in control letting brian be outside too. another scare to add to the list!! wow, talking about making mom nervous! =) thats what they are for right!? anyways, mom leaves on vacation, zach takes a swim, and i get a summer cold, which im convinced are worse then winter ones! well, hopefully now things will calm down a bit! Mom will be home mid week, if she decides to come home or move to the mountains! lol. zach hopefully wont take a swim lesson again, and my cold, and that horrible frog that found its way in my throat has finally hit the road! So heres to a great weekend, where my sister turned 22, man i feel old!, and to hopefully a beginning of a fabulous week!!!

A FUNNY

OK, I saw this on myspace, a friend had it as a bultin and i thought it was funny so i wanted to share!! Just as a joke, but if the shoe fits!! LOL


For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
2 Men are like Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like .. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. ok, WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE!!!??YOU KNOW WHO!!! LOL
12! . Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

Just thought i would share! have a fabulous day!!

MY JOB!!!

I have been a stay at home mom since october, to me this is my JOB!!! No, i do not get paid, and no i do not leave home, but for me this is my job. Some people may say oh thats easy, all you do is sat at home all day! WRONG!! Yes, i sit but its not constant, plus do you have a two year old!! OMG can you say one big fat ball of energy! He does not know or wants to rest. Doesnt know how to be easy! Everything is fast, go go and go! Also, he does not know how to listen! Its constantly running after him geting him out of the stuff he knows hes not suppose to be into, and trying to get him to learn what no means! THIS IS MY JOB! Some people, mentioning no names, but a very hard headed man in my household, says this is easY!! I just dare him to do it! He works all day yes, but i do to! UGH!!!! mEN!!! LOL
Being a full time work is hard work. It takes all kinds of things. Patience, so you dont kill them, and love. Youre a teacher, babysitter,janitor, waitress, and a server. I love my kids to death and would not trade them for the world. I consider it a previledge to stay at home with them. I am there for all the milestones and see every bump and tear and laugh and smile along the way. Yes, i do not know how long i can have this priveledge, but right now i make the best of it. I wish everyone had the opportunity to stay home. Some days i wanna pull my hair out, but they are still joyful to spend them with my children. Everyone should do it a while just to see how stressful and how hard it is. It takes a lot out of you, but you wouldnt trade it for anything.
My kids know i love them. They show me how to be a good mom. When they put their little arms, or hands around your neck and squeeze how can you not love what you do! Your the most important person in the world to them!
Some kids dont get that, some never know they are special. I will never understand how a mother can abuse her kids. They came out of you, a special bond is there. I will never understand how a mother could hurt something so small and fragile. So helpless. I watch some mothers and fathers igmore their children and all i wanna do is shake them! They can tell if they are wanted, and loved. Show them you love them!!!
Anways, ill get off my soapbox now! I just want people to respect stay at home moms. Lots of people dont. and Its not right. GOD gave them to you, dont take them for granted.
I would be no one without my boys. They teach me something everyday. Every second. Being a mom, its the best job anyone could have!

Harry Potter...im not telling, just my thoughts.

OK, so Harry Potter has done it again. Leaving me on the edge of my seat, waiting for the big finish!!! It took me a while to get into these movies, which anyone who knows me knows how slow my brain works, part of my blondness, because the movies are so full of imformation and so long!!! You have to watch every detail every mintue or you or completely lost! Well, i think i have finally been able to sit down and watch most of all of them now, and they are fascinating. To see how one mind can come up with a story line so complex is unbelieveable to me.

The Half blood prince, just came out in theaters, is amazing! yet, its very boring compared to the others at the same time. Im not gonna give anything away for those of you who have not had the oppurtunity to see it, but you so should!! I ablsolutely cant wait till the last two comes out to finish the story.

I found myself laughing and crying and riding along the way with the gang of magicians thinking about what they can come up with next, only to shocked once again! JK Rowlings is an incredible author. I never read the books, they are huge and i barely have time to read these days anyways, but the movies are awesome!! I am anxiously awaiting the next two years to see how the story twists and turns and excites us all once again!!

My life, as I know it...

Hey all, so Im a little new at this, one of my dear friends introduced me to this wild and crazy thing known as a blog. lol. I hope you enjoy, and i will try not to bore you to tears. Life as certainly changed since high school for me. Five years has passed, crazy in itself, and I have come so far in such a short time.

It seems like its been forever since high school, the days in which drug by. For me, high school was only one big sand box. Preps, jocks, cowboys(or wanna bes) to the nerds and the plain janes, where I seemed to stay, which most days didnt bother me one bit. Why try to be something that you werent? Plus, those other people just judged and turned against each other so who wanted to be like that? No wy. Anywho, high school has been long gone, and I appreciate all God taught me through the many hardships and lessons along the way.

College, or the lack of it, was another bump in the road. Working 40 plus hours proved too difficult for me, being lazy and sleeping through classes. Tried to improve my second semester only to take a really hard class, and fail. SO meanless to say my gpa was too low for financial aid and i no longer attended. I decided to move back home and start looking for a job. Well, that accomplished one thing, bordem and living with my little sister. All of you that have one know exactly what i mean, terrible. lol. Well, to this day i regret the whole school situation and hopefully hope to return one day, but thats another story....

Well, along came Brian Hatton. Thats enough said. LOL. I had been in one of those stupid on and off relationships for about three years. I finally got up the balls, and the brains to end that for good. It was very difficult at that age, thinking you "love" and lost, which really turned out to be all my imagination. I was heartbroken and alone and here came brian. I had been friends with him for a while through that relationship and he was always there encouraging me, never judging, and always a shoulder to lean on. I always think God put me in those circumstances at that point in time to teach me what true love could be, and show me what i had was not what he intended. God showed me alot through Brians friendship at first which eventually turned into something i never knew i was missing. Something that i thank my God for every single day. Love. Unconditional, no matter what you do wrong, grow old with me kind of love.

Ok, you know me. Romantic all the way to my core. lol. My mother raised us on love stories and one day i hoped my prince would come. lol. yea yea. I know what youre thinking. Brian, prince charming?? ok. haha well, when i least expected it, it came. I didnt chase after it, which was a whole new thing for me, and i never felt prisoned. Brian isnt perfect, by no means. lol. He was the work all day come home greasy prince charming that took me for a loop. At first i was so hesitant. I didnt wanna let go and grab something new. Something scary. I was fooling myself, and no one else that we were "just friends". Well, that soon changed as two months later, we were engaged, i know super fast right?....

Well, April 22,2006 Brian and I tied the knot. It was the best day of my life. So Far. God was in the center, leading and we followed what we thought was to be what he intended us to do. Its been difficult in some levels but we live everyday to the fullest, putting God in the center and letting him hold our reigns. We love each other everyday more and more than the last. I never realized how it felt to be totally committed heart and soul to one person, and have them committed to you in the same way. Unconditional love. Thats all i know how to describe it.

OK, yes, here it comes. On my honeymoon, poor little innocent stephanie, which i am very proud of thank you, in this day and age, got herself pregnant. Lets just say, I was shocked, scared and very overwhelmed. Silly me, was planning on getting on birth control after we got home, but needless to say, didnt even think about it before the wedding, being we through it together so fast. Anyways, newlyweds, pregnant and feeling a little bit anxious. After the shock wore off and i confirmed the pregnancy we were super excited. I always think what it would have been nice to wait a couple years to have us time, but now i would have never changed it. Zachary arrived in january of 2007, which was exactly nine months after our wedding. Of course people talked, like normal cause i guess they dont have anything else to do. My parents raised me in church and i had morals that i stuck to, so those of you who know me knew that those rumors were as false as me walking on the moon. lol. Anyways, Zach was the apple of our eye. Looking just exactly like his daddy and acting like him too, which i dont know if thats a blessing or not, lol. Zach is now a typical two and a half year old with the energy and stubbornness to prove it! I love him with all that is in me, and thank God everyday for letting me be a mom. I can only hope to be as good of one to him as my mom has been to me. Being a mom has got to be the greatest role on this earth.

Two years later, after much thought, we decided to add to our family. With as much love we had for each other and for Zach we had Logan this last Febuary(09). Hes growing up soo fast and i cant believe of all the precious memories i have already recieved. God is so good. Logan looks and acts more like me and my dad, which scares brian. lol. Hes just jealous. Logan is definitely his own boy.

Well, I guess that is me. My family is my world. My friends keep me going. And God keeps us all in his hands. I have never felt more happy and blessed. Im in the process of trying to start up my own quilting,sewing business which proves harder than i thought, and hope to go to school next fall. Brian still works at Kimray, which he loves and hopes to become a supervisor next year. Zach drives me crazy and Logan just coos, but all in all, this is my little corner of the world. My happy little corner of the world. Not perfect, just us... Happy. Some days more than others, but just as happy as i ever dreamed of being.