Saying Goodbye is never easy

This past week a dear friend of our family passed away. Mrs. Effie Beaird. She was like a gradma to me, and a best friend to my mom for 33 years. So needless to say, it was a tough week.
Monday was the day we got the news. We had been up there to see effie at the hospital the following friday and just had a gut feeling that she was ready to go to heaven. Mom and dad then spent most of the day saturday and sunday. We all were not ready to say goodbye. For she had been sick for several months and i guess just was ready to go home. She had valve surgery and her heart healed fine, but her other organs decided to shut down. We were all with her the day of her heart surgery, got to hug her, say i love you so we were thankful for that. For during her last two months, she could not talk cause she had to be on the breathing tubes. At first she could smile and respond, but the last couple days couldnt even do that. It was too sad for me to watch. The first time i went ot see her at the rehab place, she was so swollen she couldnt hardly fit in the bed. I was so shocked. I only stayed in there a minute and went out crying. I couldnt stand looking at her, the once strong solid women i had knew all my life, now lay helpless, swollen so large that it just broke my heart. The next time we went to see her in the hospital, where her daughter took her back to, the friday before she died i did the same thing. I couldnt make myself stay in there and look at her dying, it was just too much. Looking back i wish i could have been stronger to share those last days with her, but my heart just couldnt do it.
The monday she died, everytime moms phone ring we were just waiting. Waiting for the call to come that she had passed. Passed on the be with jesus. Thats the only reason we all made it through the last couple weeks. Knowing she was a very strong christian and she would be going to see her King. Like a wise friend of mine told me, its not goodbye, its see you later... For we will meet her again in the sky.
The funeral service was saturday. It was tough. But yet it was a great service. LIke the preacher said our flesh will be sad and missing her, yet our spirit rejoices cause we know shes in a better place. I can picture her clear as day, singing and rejoicing with our lord.
We will miss her smile, her words of encouragement and her presence. My mom said yesterday, Who am i to ride around with now. But yet, we know we will move on, and remember her for the wonderful lady she was. Our grandma. Our friend.

Camping...

This weekend, Brian and I took our boys to his parents and sit off to the lake. Chandler lake, but still its a lake! Well, those of you who know me know I am not a very good camper. lol. I like clean, no bugs or dirt, love my electricity. My husband however loves it and could live outdoors. He loves fishing, and i like it only if we acually catch something. And have we caught anything, no!!! lol Anyways, i dont mind it if its not burning hot and the bugs arent attacking you. Well, this weekend, we are with michaels family since michael and bec got a new boat. It is pretty cool! I liked relaxing in the sun and feel the water splashing on my face.
Now were sitting around talking while the boys fish, again. Thats all they wanna do! my my. Anyways, and get this, i can not sleep on the ground, so therefor we always bring our blow up matress!! goes right in tent and tada!! Its like a bed. I unfortunatly inherited my mothers bad back so i can not and will not come if i have to sleep on the hard cold ground. lol.
Sadly, the sun also gives me headaches so i cant be out in it very long, but this time of year its cooler so im enjoying it. got my visor, sunblock so hopefully i wont come home a lobster... those of you who are white know exactly what i am talking about. lol.
anyways, i try to camp some times a summer to be supportive of my hubby. its not too bad, would be more exciting if the fish would bite, the bugs wouldnt and my allergies would disapear,but all in all we have had a good time. Tonight will be the test, sleeping all night, thats why there is tylenol pm!!!

Potty Training, Day 1- A Nightmare Starts

I think im going to pull my hair out before this is done. I thought life was stressful before this! was i wrong. This morning at aproximately 9 i decided it was time to put zach in big boy underwear and start potty training. An hour and a half later, after sitting on potty four or five times, then giving him one cup of juice, he pees, not in his potty, but in his underwear right after getting up! ugh! well, went back to potty just to sit there fifteen minutes to not go. Well, changed undies and what happens, we eat lunch, one cup and i was gonna wait about ten minutes. Hadnt no more put him down and he pees, in his clean undies, all over the floor. I hurry him to bath room just to repeat the process!!! four underwears, three messes, and no pee in potty later, mom was ready to scream!!!! i know it cant happen over night but come on!! i then decided it was nap time, with diaper on!
Well, need less to say, im a little discouraged. I wish i could snap my fingers and make it happen! He is two and a half and i know its time to do this so i know i just gotta be patience. I have never had patience!! its the hardest thing i have come across yet being a mom, and im sure i can manage this hurdle. Once i figure out how. I tried the candy thing if he went in potty, and he never went in potty so that didnt work. he would wait till after he got off potty to go! so please, i would love some advice, encouragement and prayers that this is an easy transition.
I know it can be done, but its gonna take time. Zach is smart, but i dont know how he will learn to pee in potty before his new bid boy undies wind up soaked!! So i think ill put pull ups on, then try undies again in the morning. Lets cross our fingers and hope it comes along, before we go through more than a doaen pairs of undies a day!!!! lol thanks!!!

GOD IS SO GOOD

GOD IS SO GOOD!! Today, one of my dear friends, which i have know since i was eight, had a baby. What joy a baby can bring to so many lives. Friends, family and even strangers. It changes everyone around. Whether it be small or large people are affected by the birth of a baby. Mom and dad of course welcome their new little bundle of joy in this world, but today got me thinking deeper. How many people love one small child so openly, purely is an act of God. One small miracle bringing people closer together and uniting them. God works in mighty ways.

When i was eight, my family met what now i call my second family. The Howards. Back then, life was about playing games, having fun, dressing up, and just being young girls. Now, were all growing up, moving on, getting married, and having babies. Life changes like a whirlwind around you, pulling you around good and bad corners all along the way. Anyways, this family has been through so much and has been a blessing to me from the day i met them. Friends to the end, i sure hope so. Church was where we met, and god formed friendships that are lasting, I believe. We have all had our ups and downs but when you get right down to it, love. Love binds people. Friends and family. Forever.
The middle daughter, had the baby last night. Man did it bring out the good in everyone! Brought everyone close together and forever tying a happy couple. God has brought her through tough times, heart ache and pain, to laughter and tears. As i watched her with her son i was just in awe. Knowing the feeling myself and enjoying watching her experience the feeling of becoming a mom. Her face going from just pure love, to worry, to joy in a matter of seconds. Seeing the love she has immediately for her son and how it has changed her is just breath taking. I brings me to tears just thinking about it. A mothers love can never be bought or stolen. Just unique for her children. Unconditional, my favorite word to describe it. Watching her and her husband today, i mus thave thanked god a hundred times for blessing this new family and bringing us all closer. Zaiden, how truly blessed you are. A family who loves you and a mother who already has shown how much she will always do for you, her son. I am so proud of her, she is going to be a great mom.

Life comes at you no matter what. Love. Friendship, always be blessed. I certainly am. I thank my god everyday for the friendships that he has given me. Friendships that will last. Everyone loves babies, thats for sure. Today has been a blessed day for me. Joy and hope for the future, reimininsing(Iknow not spelled right but oh well) about the old days and just being free. Free and happy.

Today, visiting with the new baby and family really brought out the best in that family. Renewing ties and bringing everyone together. Love, strength and happiness all at once. In the midst, sadness being a close family member is sick, but yet hope. God brought a tiny little miracle to share with everyone. God is love, shown through a little babies touch, the mothers loving gaze, and a proud daddy beaming at his son. What a blessed day.

MOMS!!

So, my mom has been gone a week now and I miss her like crazy!!! She went on a well deserved vacation, being her and my dad havent gone on one alone since they had children! She deserved to get out and live a little!! Im sure shes missing her boys though but she needed a break! But that said, I miss her!!

You never know how much your mom does till shes gone! Even if its only a little while! She cooks, cleans and listens to our every whim!! whether it be pleasant or not. Plus, this week i was sick and having her gone was awful! I dont care how old i get, i still like my mom around when i dont feel good! She may not be able to help but it feels better with her presence around! I miss her cooking! My my shes a good cook! no offense to my mac and cheese and hamburger helpers, i cant put things together homemade like mom can! One trait i hope to learn sooN!! well, i just thought i would talk a little!!!

my son took a drowning experience to heart last saturday, decided he wanted to swim. by himself. thank god brian was outside. zach got an extra ladder into brains parents pool and somehow climb in and jumped. thank god brian grabbed him before he stayed under too long!. good thing zach knew to hold his breathe! Brians dad would not have been able to save him, so Gods in control letting brian be outside too. another scare to add to the list!! wow, talking about making mom nervous! =) thats what they are for right!? anyways, mom leaves on vacation, zach takes a swim, and i get a summer cold, which im convinced are worse then winter ones! well, hopefully now things will calm down a bit! Mom will be home mid week, if she decides to come home or move to the mountains! lol. zach hopefully wont take a swim lesson again, and my cold, and that horrible frog that found its way in my throat has finally hit the road! So heres to a great weekend, where my sister turned 22, man i feel old!, and to hopefully a beginning of a fabulous week!!!

A FUNNY

OK, I saw this on myspace, a friend had it as a bultin and i thought it was funny so i wanted to share!! Just as a joke, but if the shoe fits!! LOL


For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free. Here's an update for you: Nowadays, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives. They irritate the crap out of you.
2 Men are like Bananas The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars . Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like .. Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like .. Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. ok, WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE!!!??YOU KNOW WHO!!! LOL
12! . Men are like Lava Lamps . Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped

Just thought i would share! have a fabulous day!!

MY JOB!!!

I have been a stay at home mom since october, to me this is my JOB!!! No, i do not get paid, and no i do not leave home, but for me this is my job. Some people may say oh thats easy, all you do is sat at home all day! WRONG!! Yes, i sit but its not constant, plus do you have a two year old!! OMG can you say one big fat ball of energy! He does not know or wants to rest. Doesnt know how to be easy! Everything is fast, go go and go! Also, he does not know how to listen! Its constantly running after him geting him out of the stuff he knows hes not suppose to be into, and trying to get him to learn what no means! THIS IS MY JOB! Some people, mentioning no names, but a very hard headed man in my household, says this is easY!! I just dare him to do it! He works all day yes, but i do to! UGH!!!! mEN!!! LOL
Being a full time work is hard work. It takes all kinds of things. Patience, so you dont kill them, and love. Youre a teacher, babysitter,janitor, waitress, and a server. I love my kids to death and would not trade them for the world. I consider it a previledge to stay at home with them. I am there for all the milestones and see every bump and tear and laugh and smile along the way. Yes, i do not know how long i can have this priveledge, but right now i make the best of it. I wish everyone had the opportunity to stay home. Some days i wanna pull my hair out, but they are still joyful to spend them with my children. Everyone should do it a while just to see how stressful and how hard it is. It takes a lot out of you, but you wouldnt trade it for anything.
My kids know i love them. They show me how to be a good mom. When they put their little arms, or hands around your neck and squeeze how can you not love what you do! Your the most important person in the world to them!
Some kids dont get that, some never know they are special. I will never understand how a mother can abuse her kids. They came out of you, a special bond is there. I will never understand how a mother could hurt something so small and fragile. So helpless. I watch some mothers and fathers igmore their children and all i wanna do is shake them! They can tell if they are wanted, and loved. Show them you love them!!!
Anways, ill get off my soapbox now! I just want people to respect stay at home moms. Lots of people dont. and Its not right. GOD gave them to you, dont take them for granted.
I would be no one without my boys. They teach me something everyday. Every second. Being a mom, its the best job anyone could have!